Quarter Life Crisis?

A couple of weeks ago, a friend sent out a link to an article about the quarter-life crisis phenomenon. http://www.eyeweekly.com/article/55882 The having meaningless sex part of it certainly doesn't apply to me, but for the most part, this describes how I feel, sentiments I have expressed in recent posts. This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me: I tried to leave Georgia for college but I only considered top-notch engineering schools that are in the south, of which there are 2 and Caltech only waitlisted me; I tried to leave Georgia after college to work in California or France but job acceptances kept me in the Georgia. And I'm not wanting to do make this move to be nearer to any particular person, as some of you may think - the cities I am considering have been on my mind for quite some time, it just hasn't been something I ever acted upon or spoke much of before because I knew I would be here no matter what until at least this summer.

Bi- and Semi- Prefixes

I was writing to newspapers to try to get them to publish my bridge column and I was wanting to aim for 2 columns per week to start out. My instinct was to call that bi-weekly, 2 times per week. But then I got to thinking that I get paid bi-weekly and that’s once every 2 weeks. So, semi-weekly must be the term for doing something twice per week. But then I thought of bi-monthly meaning that things get done twice per month. Then I thought about the terms people use for years. Semi-annual definitely means twice per hear. Biannual also means twice per year, but biennial means every two years. Where is the consistency?

These are how the terms are most frequently used in the US and I have heard many people over the years say to avoid using the terms biweekly or bimonthly when describing the frequency of a meeting or get together. Just use "twice a week" or "every 2 weeks" to be clear. It's nice that we have words that allow us to express an idea in one word rather than a 3 or 4 word phrase as long as we all agree on what the word actually means. I think the terms biannual and biennial are rarely confused and, therefore, can be used without potential confusion.

Somehow, these thoughts led me to thinking about the usage of dernière, which means "last" in French. They are consistent. L’année dernière means the pervious year, la semaine dernière means the pervious week (la semaine dernière, j’ai visité Reno). La dernière année and la dernière semaine both refer to the final year of week (la dernière semaine a ce travail et je ne sais pas.)

Green Space in Big Cities

When I lived in Atlanta, I used to love spending an afternoon at Piedmont Park. I could go by myself or I could go with a friend and throw a frisbee or baseball around a little bit. I found it very relaxing to go and walk around, maybe bring a book to read, or just watch the people and the dogs. I miss that now because in Warner Robins or Macon, there's nothing like a big green space to go and walk around and see all sorts of people.

I think this is also a big part of why I have been interested in New York, Boston, and Montreal. Each of these cities has a big park in the middle of the city. There's Central Park in Manhattan, Boston Commons in Boston, and Mont Royal in Montreal.

Yesterday and today I've been wanting to go hang out at a park but the closest thing I could find is the Shops at River Crossing, which is basically a strip mall.

Reasons I Like Winter

I have always lived in the south and thus have always been liked the hot weather. Living in Georgia, 60 degrees is cold, and at even a hint of snow, people go crazy. Anyway, the warm weather is back and I’m actually not too thrilled about it this year. So, reasons I like winter:

1) No need to pack a cooler and deal with ice. The drinks in my car will stay cold just fine.

2) No need to worry about leaving chocolates and other things that might melt in the car.

3) No constant desire to shower and wash my face due to sweating whenever I even walk outside.

4) The added layers of clothing provide more pocket space for me to put stuff in so I may not need to take a bag.

5) No need to worry about the lawn or weeds or ants or spiders or other such things that can be very annoying.

6) Snow. As long as I don’t have to drive in it.

Reno and Airport Praises/Gripes

I am not a gambler and I'm typically not into the kind of vacationing that exists in places like Vegas, Biloxi, and Reno. But I must say that a giant hotel-casino-resort is a good place to have a bridge tournament. The drinks after the game and meeting your peers in the bar/casino is lots of fun and it's not something that exists at most bridge tournaments where people tend to scatter off to different places after the game. In 4 days in Reno for the Spring nationals, I left the hotel once to go out to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. If what you're looking for is somewhere to gamble, drink, eat, sleep, shop, relax all in one place, Reno is the place for you. From most places in the US, there aren't direct flights but once you get there, there are free shuttles to all the major casino hotels. Reno doesn't have the glitz and glamour of Vegas or Atlantic City but the idea is the same - you can get the same things in Reno as in Las Vegas, just a litte cheaper and without so much fanciness. There really isn't much else to do in Reno, unless you go out to Lake Tahoe for some water or mountain sports. I wish I had taken a day to go to Tahoe and maybe go skiing, but that requires more planning and finding someone else who wants to go skiing. Skiing is something I've been wanting to try for awhile but the last couple of times I tried organizing such a trip, it failed miserably. Perhaps if and when I move north, my friends will be more interested in skiing.

In other news, I finally realize why people hate LAX so much. In all my travels, it's kind of amazing that I never flew to Los Angeles but my trip to Reno involved chaning airlines in LAX because that's what was the cheapest thing that fit my time parameters. I'd be totally fine if that's my last trip through LAX. It is very inefficient. Signs directing you how to get from one terminal to another are few and far between and a bit unclear. I had no problems with it but I did a little research before hand. The worst part of the airport, though, is that each terminal has a separate security line so delays are lengthened, and it makes passengers connecting in different terminals have to go through security again. It seems that this kind of setup with 6 different terminals each with it's own ticketing, baggage claim, and security comes from an airport that has expanded several times because no one in their right mind would design it like this from the beginning. Yes, if you have a giant security line for all passengers, there may be delays but they will be short and predictable whereas having a different line for each airline creates a much more variable wait time. It all makes me appreciate ATL more. It is the epitome of a well-designed, well-run airport. The fact that it is the busiest airport in the world just makes it even more impressive.

Invention of Lying

On the plane ride home yesterday, I really thought I would sleep like a baby on my 777 flight from LAX to ATL after having had just 7 hours of sleep the 2 previous nights combined. Instead, I found quite an entertaining and thought-provoking movie, a movie that goes hand in hand with many of the issues that had been bothering me the past few days. Actually, these issues of deceit and lying and always bother me but were really brought to the front of my mind again.

The Invention of Lying is set in a mythical world where there is no concept of a lie. The word truth does not exist because everything is the truth. Not only do people only speak the truth but they freely say what’s on their mind. I like that place. I would fit in very well. I wouldn’t spend time wondering things like whether she finds me attractive, or whether she is bored or whether he was just saying something to be nice. The world would be a better place and we would be better people if we all actually said what we like AND dislike to everyone.

Sadly, the movie takes a downward turn when the main character tells a lie, creates God, and then creates fiction. It’s a very amusing sequence of events that follow that ends up with the main character gets the girl of his dreams, who said earlier she’s way out of his league, to fall in love with him.

Relocation

So, now that I've officially told my first level supervisor that I am looking for a new job far away from Warner robins unless conditions change a lot soon, I guess I can be more public about these thoughts that have been floating around in my head for several months.

While Warner robins is a place I would like living in when I have a family to support, but for now, I am young and single and should explore life in a different environment. NYC, Boston, and Montreal have been the places I have been considering. In polling some of the people that know me best and making a pro-con list, Montreal is by far my first choice now. It may be the worst decision I ever make to leave this good job that I have now but it could be the best decision I ever make. Maybe I've been an urban northerner pretending to be a southerner for 24 years but maybe I am a southerner who thinks he now wants to belongs somewhere else. Only time will tell.

And it is certainly would be financial suicide to go to grad school anywhere but mercer while still working in WR but I think that may be what i want to do. McGill, Concordia, and NYU are the grad schools i am considering. If you would like to put your 2 cents in on this matter, please comment or email me.

Sent from my iPhone

Colleague Interactions

Typically by 3:30 Friday, everyone at the office starts heading home with no intentions of seeing their colleagues again until Monday. One week, however, one of the guys is playing in a band at a bar that Friday so a bunch of the 20- and 30-something would meet there that evening. Even though they all do essentially the same work and have very similar educational backgrounds, there is quite a variety of personalities in this group.

Among the people from the office, the first to arrive, naturally, are the band member and his wife. Second to arrive is the player, who originally had not planned on going but that lady he was planning to be with that night bailed. So the player, who was raised Muslim but has rebelled against his family to be a big drinker and smoker, is already half drunk at 8pm and looking to pick up a new girl (or two). Next to show up is one of the guys in his late 30’s with his girlfriend. They briefly chat with the band member, have 1 drink, and actually leave before the live music starts because they are going ballroom dancing.

Next to arrive is the Indian dude who recently got married. They chat with the wife the whole time and do not drink any. They’re on a tight budget, having had to spend a lot on an extravagant wedding and planning to buy a house and have a kid soon. Plus she gets mad when he drinks. Just before show time, the token black guy from the office shows up. He clearly looks out of place, but really, there are plenty of minorities in the bar – it’s the fact that he’s socially challenged that makes him uncomfortable. He stands off to the side alone and says exchanges pleasantries with the other office members when they come by. By the 3rd song, he is gone. Who knows where he went?

Just in time to see the token black guy, the card shark shows up and before greeting anyone, gets a drink from the bar. He mingles a good bit and is well-liked but gets frustrated with the people who don’t understand his love for card games. Shortly afterward, the Vietnamese guy shows up sans wife. He rarely associates with the colleagues, preferring to stick to the Vietnamese crowd, but he had been saying for months that he would bring his wife out to one of the office gatherings to meet everyone. At least he came out this time, so that’s a slight improvement. Emotional dude shows up at about the same time, complaining about various little things in life. He’s quite a sociable fellow but some of the group doesn’t like him because he’s so thoughtful and gets upset with people too easily. After about the 6th song, Mormon dude arrives at the bar still in his work clothes and he orders water to drink. Like most Mormons he is completely anti-alcohol but he shows up at all the social gatherings and never appears to have any interest in women or anything really.

At the first break in the live music, everyone is gathered around and wondering where the token girl from the office is. Everyone loves her because she flirts with all the guys, even though she is happily taken. So, emotional dude gives her a call, and then gives her boyfriend a call, with no response from either. Emotional dude is also the one that frequently tried to organize social events, further getting frustrated when people don’t cooperate. Near the end of the show, player, card shark, Mormon dude, and Vietnamese dude are left in the audience with band member’s wife. Player is busy playing pool with some random girl. The card shark, who has been ready to go home for awhile and get back to playing cards online (since no one wants to play in person on a Friday night) but isn’t quite sober enough to drive, hitches a ride with the Mormon. Presumably, the player eventually took a cab home or went home with the girl, and only his wife was left to greet the band member at the end of the performance.

Note: This is not a reflection of any particular group of people – just an example of how a diverse group of colleagues might get along.

3.14159

Happy Pi Day! Of all the holidays celebrated on the 14^th of a month, Pi Day is the best. What is so special about pi day? If you’re reading this, I expect you are well aware of the great significance of pi, but in case you’re not mathematically inclined, it is 3.14159..., which happens to be the ratio between the circumference and the diameter of a circle. Is pi where pie the dessert got its name or is it the other way around? Or is it just a coincidence? Hmm.


For any literature enthusiasts who are mathematically challenged who might be reading this, perhaps the first thing you think about when you see “Pi” is Piscine Molitor Patel, the protagonist in Canadian author Martel Yann’s book “Life of Pi”. This does happen to be among my favorite books, but it has nothing to do with 3.14 or the pie dessert. It’s about an Indian boy, who happens to be named after a pool surviving 227 days on a lifeboat. He and his family were in the process of moving from India to Canada.

Smoking in Bars

I had always thought smoking in bars was kind of the norm. Bars didn’t really feel like bars without the smoky atmosphere. Growing up, my favorite restaurant was the Wooden Nickel Pub in Valdosta. It’s a bit strange that I liked this place so much because it doesn’t fit my clean cut, smoke-free, somewhat upscale personality, yet throughout middle and high school, I was one of the most regular customers at this hole-in-the-wall smoky pizza joint.

In Georgia, almost all bars still allow smoke. Since I moved out of Valdosta, they passed an ordinance that no smoking would be allowed in restaurants but in bars it is still allowed. I suppose the Wooden Nickel never sold enough alcohol to qualify as a bar, and around the same time as the new smoking ordinance, they moved to a new location, which was clean and more like a chain restaurant. The atmosphere isn’t the same, and I miss the old smoky pub. Likewise, Rocky Mountain Pizza, at the corner of 10th and Hemphill in Atlanta, was one of my favorite places – it’s a lot of people’s favorites – while I was at Georgia Tech. The atmosphere is the same as the Wooden Nickel save for the Georgia Tech students there are the main customers. The pizza is perhaps a little better and the crowd a little louder.

Recently, I’ve visited the northeast and the west and found that they mostly disallow smoking in bars. This feels odd to me. While I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, I still feel like smoking goes hand in hand with beer. But I’m coming around to the idea of smoke-free bars. Actually, one of my favorite bars in Atlanta, Hand in Hand in the Virginia Highlands area, is smoke-free, at least inside. There is a huge outdoor area where smoking is permitted.

I was inclined to think that keeping the smoking out of bars would decrease sales by a substantial amount. But really it might just make bars more welcoming to non-smokers. And I’ve found that people who smoke don’t really mind. It gives them an excuse to take a break and go outside for a smoke, which can be good for everyone – the taking a break from the group and going outside. I am in no way condoning smoking as a good thing but I do find it socially acceptable in certain situations.

Everything Can Change in a New York Minute

Even though I had visited 48 of the 50 states in the US by the time I was 14, I still have yet to visit several major American cities, but the list of such cities I need to visit has definitely shrunk a lot in the last couple of years. I can’t tell how serious I am about moving. A big part of me is really excited about possibly moving. Another part of me still feels like a Georgia boy, terrified to leave the state that has been my home for nearly 25 years.

I sort of feel like all the little weekend trips I’ve taken since I’ve been living in Warner Robins have been kind of test drives to see if I’d like to make it my next home. While many of the trips have been for bridge, many have been just to “visit” friends. Over the last 3 years, I’ve taken weekend trips to Boston, NYC, Washington DC, Dallas, Las Vegas, LA, San Diego, San Francisco, Nashville, Seattle, Saint Louis, Chicago, Pittsburgh. Boston, NYC, and San Fran definitely stand out as my favorites but I don’t think I want to move out west anymore. Maybe I was influenced more by who I was with when I visited (Mila, Megan, and Dana), but those 3 cities have a lot of character and seem to cater very well to single 20-something males. I have been told Vancouver and Montreal are great places, too, and it is kind of surprising that I haven’t been to Montreal. With the heavy French influence in Montreal, I should like the place. That’s tentatively on the calendar for an August visit but I may have to move it up sooner than that.

Don’t get me wrong. Macon/Warner Robins is actually quite a great place to live. I could totally be happy settling down here if I had someone to settle down with. In the mean time, I want to go exploring, even if it means being miserable a lot and starting my social life over, which may actually be harder in a big city where friendships may tend to be less intimate. At least I already have a few friends who live in the places I am looking to move to but who knows how long they will be there.

I hear about some of my other friends, 3 or 4 years removed from getting their undergrad degree looking for a new adventure as well – some starting their own business, going back to grad school, taking a sabbatical, or just changing jobs – it makes me not think I’m so crazy for entertaining these thoughts so much.

5 Rants About Dating and Being Friends

I hate it when someone who actually wants to be a real friend refers to me or anyone else as just a friend. To me, that’s a slap in the face and indicates that you’re not really a friend but are just saying that to be nice. There is some distinction between a friend and just a friend, and just a friend is certainly less important. In scrabble, when I play a 15 point word, I say it’s just 15 points, when I score 59% at the Robins Bridge Club, I say it’s just 59%. (Those are very low scores, btw, for my standards) I will never refer to someone as just a friend. I prefer to call them as acquaintances or not give a label at all.

I hate it when girls say let’s be friends and then don’t ever have any intentions of actually spending time together. Recently someone said, I’d love to be friends but I typically don’t associate with my guy friends more than about once in 6 months. What’s the point in that?

I hate when girls say you’re “totally awesome and you make me laugh and we get along great, but I’m not that into you.” Isn’t it the guy that’s supposed to be the one to say something like this, which to me says, “Your personality and sense of humor and compatibility with me are so wonderful but I’d rather be with a hot sexy guy who’s not so good for me.” I see a girlfriend/mate as the ultimate friend, and I see “being into someone” basically meaning thinking that said person is totally awesome, able to make you laugh, and gets along with you great. Someone correct me if I am wrong.

I hate when people want to be facebook friends but never actually personally communicate with me. If I message you I expect you to respond or defriend me.

Corollary: I hate for people to say things just to be nice. If you don't mean it, don't say it. If you have nothing nice to genuinely say, don't say anything unless asked to or think it will help the other person, in which case, definitely say exactly what's on your mind.

I hate that 98% of the time I’m the one that initiates conversations. This seems odd because I know I am less talkative than 98% of my friends. What does this mean? I tend to think that it’s primarily because I at heart am a very sociable person, who has more free time than my friends, and who likes to actually associate with friends on a more regular basis. But maybe it’s a message that my so-called friends don’t like talking to me.