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Monday, September 21, 2009

Communication With Friends

For those of you who actually know me and have ever planned or attempted to plan anything with me, you know that I am not very tolerant of people who always wait until the last minute and/or are unresponsive. In middle school and high school, I tended to be one of these people who didn't respond to people in a timely manner mostly due to being slightly anti-social. I didn't become a real functioning human being until I was in college. But once I decided I wanted to actually interact with people on a regular basis and had to arrange things on my own (in high school, social things were all built-in to my life due to baseball and tennis and school-related stuff), I became very responsive to others and considerate when responding to others. And I'm mainly talking about responding when asked to do something or when trying to plan some social event in the next few days/weeks. Be considerate. Don't leave me hanging for several days. Don't ignore me. Don't say you might want to do some activity when the chances you'll actually be bored enough to spend time with me is about .0001%. Don't be afraid to tell me no. I used to get upset with others for double-booking themselves and then having to cancel on me, but I found that I started doing that, too, because no one was really dependable. No one would stick to a plan. And that's how it was through most of college. But I actually had a lot of friends in college so I rarely couldn't find a friend that was being responsive when I wanted to be social. It was so frustrating, and this sort of irritation has been really bothering me a lot in the last few months. I guess I should cut such people out of my life or just learn to not rely on them as a friend but just someone who I may occasionally see, but that wouldn't really be like a friend because when we hang out would depend totally on them. And that isn't how it should be either. If you're my friend, sometimes call me or email me just to say hi.

When I moved to Warner Robins over 2 years ago, I found a friend, Hillery, who was like the ultimate friend to me. She was (and still is) fun to be around, made plans, let me know right away her status, so I had adequate time to make other plans, gave a good honest reason, and simply was more dependable than any other friend I have had. And I expect to be treated that way from all of my friends. While I did become closer to her than any previous friend, this consideration and dependability started even when we barely knew each other. I guess it's a college person's way of thinking - still enjoying the large amounts of freedom from being away from the parents - that leads people to be fickle social butterflies who only make last minute plans. I suppose people change when they get older and have to be more responsible.

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