"When you have to have a tough conversation..."

Ideally, a second actual date with someone 5 weeks after the first and lasting multiple days is not how it’s supposed to work. A second date with someone should be about a week after the first and include no more than 2 hours of time in which conversation is acceptable. The third date should probably be another week or so later and be limited to maybe 3 hours. Maybe by the 15th date, people (or at least me) are comfortable enough with each other for a more extended period of time together. Actually I don't believe in dating, and I don't believe in having "the talk." It shouldn't be necessary. You shouldn't have to "define the relationship" but it should be just something you feel. But then I inevitably find myself wondering where I stand and needing to know how the other person feels, so more of a relationship definition is needed.

There are many reasons it shouldn’t work, at least not now or near future, but the actual reason for this failure was a bit startling. It really puts lots of doubts in me, as if my social skills have reverted back to when I was in high school and couldn’t maintain a conversation. Conversation this time was supposed to be easy and fun – but it never is with me, unless bridge is involved. I’m struggling to keep myself together, and I don’t have anyone I can reliably turn to for comfort and support. I long for that - a best friend - more than anything, really.