Seasons of Love

I travel a lot, I have a very wide range of interests and friends, and I’m typically (at least I had always thought I was) very scientifically oriented, but I spend an awful lot of time looking for love and thinking about it and imagining how the romance might progress. All that really does, though, is set myself up for disappointment and maybe give me a false sense of reality. I may be good at math and scientific things but I live and behave largely on feel and emotion.

During the production of Traditions in Nov-Dec, the magnitude of my emotions was as high as ever before (and if you talked to me much in the last half of 2008, you would know that I can have extremely strong feelings, even though I mostly try to hide it). I used to think it was largely because of the role I played, a role in which I previously envisioned myself in real life, but as I think about it now, I don’t associate the two things together. So why was I so emotional about it? Did I fall for “Claire” and screw it up in real life or was I just That moved by the story and the thrill of performing?

Sometimes I think I get involved in so many things just to keep from being lonely and to keep my mind off the quest for love. I know there’s no way to predict when you’ll meet someone you will love, and I know I am very picky about which girls I am interested in.

One thing I can say for sure is that the number one quality, the one and only common quality among the girls I’ve ever dated or seriously considered dating, is that they are all highly motivated and ambitious with their careers or future careers. Included in this group are 2 girls now in law school, a musician, 2 medical students, and 2 girls with or working on graduate degrees in math. It seems a bit strange that those are the girls I am most attracted to because I have never been one to place such high importance on my career. I mean, I want to work my 40 hours a week and I work hard at my job but it’s not the center of my life, it’s not something that defines who I am.