Getting to Toronto

Third Day is an awesome band. I've had their song "Make Your Move" stuck in my head for a week now.

I'm off to Toronto for 11 days. It seems to be one of the nicer destinations for the NABC's lately. And one of the most expensive. But I'll be getting by pretty cheaply. Or rather, I'll be saving a ton on transportation and lodging so I can spend more on food and drinks. We're saving by flying into Buffalo, where flights are less than half of the cost of flying to Toronto, then bussing 3 hours (actually it took 4.5 for some unknown delays) from there to downtown Toronto (only $14 each way), and staying at a youth hostel for about 1/3 the cost of an average downtown Toronto hotel.

It's a little awkward that the hostel people put us in a room with teenage girls but really the bed rooms are for sleeping and nothing else - how it should be on a trip to Toronto. This place meets all the basic criteria I look for in a place to sleep on a trip: decently clean bathrooms, a bed, free wi-fi. It also seems to be in a really happening part of town. We checked in around 12:30am and were starving and thirsty. Fortunately there are numerous bars, restaurants, and night clubs just around the corner.

Now to go exploring, then chipotle, and bridge!

It's Your Move

The theme of River of Life this year was “It’s Your Move.” What will you do (after River of Life) to be more Christ-like, to serve others, and to be good to society? Will you be sucked in by bad influences or will you continue to strive to make the world a better place? Each year, speaker Brian Loper has a good message. He started out Wednesday spending 10 minutes teaching the proper way to side hug. Then he proceeded to say that he hates side hugs. It was a funny bit. Brian’s inspirational talks at ROL and videos from the work sites can be found at http://www.foresthillsmacon.com/media.php?pageID=66. 

 The other part of his talks that I remember vividly is that he claims “the greatest contributor to atheism today is Christians to profess Jesus with their mouth but deny Him with their lifestyle.” I used to have a rather negative opinion of religious people who would talk about going to church and Jesus but then be rude and sinful, seemingly not even trying to apply the lessons from church to their life. My opinions wavered throughout high school and college but when I met Hillery and started going to Forest Hills in January 2008, I realized a lot of good that comes from going to church and saw a group of people that has a good balance between work, service, family, fun, and faith.

It’s always good to see all these upper-middle class kids and young adults have so much fun, be silly, and still serve God and serve others. I’m not one for being silly and loud and talking a lot so I frequently found myself standing back observing, which is fine. And after a day of working/supervising/directing painters, I wasn't much in the mood for more social activity anyway.

 It’s a humbling experience and so good to help us all, especially the kids, get a perspective on life. My group included 12 kids and 2 adults and we painted 3 houses over the 3 days of work. Seeing the home owner’s appreciation was priceless. Many of them are elderly or disabled people who can’t do the home repairs themselves and can’t afford to pay for someone else to do it. Working with the kids and being outside lifting ladders and paint cans all day makes me thankful for the job I have, but also kind of sad that my regular job isn’t so fulfilling. I mean, it’s a lot of fun for a few days to paint but I never get so exhausted in my regular job. Kids are great and it feels so good to see them grow and learn, especially when you have a part in it, but I’m thankful I don’t have to be responsible for kids all day every day. Sitting at a computer writing computer programs (or just writing), while I am good at it, is not exhausting and leaves me craving some social activity. Where is the happy medium?

July is always my favorite month of the year. It starts off with the super sectional bridge tournament in Atlanta over the July 4^th weekend, a week or two later is River of Life, my birthday is the 22^nd, and the North American Bridge Championships are at the end of the month. It’s a close call as to whether I look forward to ROL or the NABC the most. They are vastly different events. River of Life is all about service, giving back to the community, leading children, and it is very fulfilling and emotional, but fairly stressful because it really brings me out of my comfort zone. It kind of justifies the week-long trip I will take to the NABC, which is a whole lot of the greatest card game in the world, eating, drinking, and socializing with people I relate to best.

"If you don't step out of your comfort zone and face your fears, the number of situations that make you uncomfortable will keep growing." In order to grow, we need to try new things because the old things (at least some of them) will inevitably go away. If we stay within our comfort zone all the time, we won’t be ready to get out into the rest of the world when our comfort zone is no longer or temporarily unavailable. Comfort zones are good to have but we also should be expanding our comfort zone. The only way to make a new comfort zone is to be uncomfortable.

Humans are creatures of habit. We like talking to familiar people, doing familiar things, going to familiar restaurants. But every time we move, start a new job, graduate, breakup with someone, or have a best friend move away, we lose one of our comfort areas and may be afraid of what will happen. Building that kind of situation or relationship again takes time and certainly requires enduring some uncomfortable situations. It is inevitable. Don’t shy away from something simply because you might be a little uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable sometimes is healthy and is a sign that you’re growing.

In the last couple of months I’ve seen myself in several uncomfortable positions including dinner and bridge with Richard whom I had only briefly met once, when he was passing through Atlanta, that Braves game I went to a few weeks ago with Laura and one of her friends, playing tennis with new people, starting a job in a new office, sharing a room (but not a bed) with Meg at the Richmond tournament.

River of Life starts today at Forest Hills UMC. For the next 4 days, 200 middle and high school students will be staying at the church, going out during the day with about 30 crew leaders and assistants to repaint, reroof, and do minor carpentry work on some houses for the less privileged people in Macon, come back and listen to an inspirational speaker and listen to the wonderful FHUMC band. It is totally funded by donations and the students pay around $100 to come sleep on the floor for 4 nights and work in the sun, and people like me use vacation days to supervise and lead them.

For many, it will be a very uncomfortable time due to being around lots of different people and in different places, being in the sun long hours, and sleeping on the floor, possibly next to several unfamiliar people. The kids will be fine – they can handle change and uncomfortable situations better than older people. The older you get, the more difficult it is to try new things. For all of us, it will make us stronger and feel better about ourselves for doing this volunteer work.

Texting in Church

For people in my generation, I was one of the last to conform to the fad of texting. I’m still not a big fan of it as a primary means of communication but I suppose that if my friends want to communicate this way, I will too.

Sunday at church, our pastor encouraged us to send text messages during the service. Don’t get the wrong idea, though. He wasn’t saying it’s good to chat with friends, thereby ignoring the sermon. He was making the service interactive. He had us text in what we thought about certain things and display the results of a poll on the screen for everyone to see. The band had us text in what we wanted them to play for the closing song. It looked like about half, maybe a little more than half, were participating. It was kind of neat. This was the 9:45 contemporary service at Forest Hills UMC, by the way, which has a more technologically advanced and much younger crowd than most other services. This certainly wouldn’t fly in the 8am service.

Only recently did I get an unlimited texting plan. Well, 1500 per month, which for many 20-somethings and late teens might not be enough, but this is still more than enough for me. I still have a tendency to call people, leave a message, but get a text in response. This trend has increased tremendously over the last few years. Texting is too short and impersonal to suit me.

Yes, I know it is strange that I feel this way because I am generally kind of frugal with words and don’t like to be close to many people. Somehow, I like the formality of calling someone and talking on the phone, at least for personal things, and until the relationship becomes so informal that you communicate through whatever medium happens to be most convenient at that time, whether it be phone, text, email, face to face visit. For business things and things that might require extensive thought, email is probably best because it is easy to maintain a record and review things later. Texting should be reserved for urgent communication when one person is in a situation where talking on the phone is not convenient.

Apparently some dedicated readers were thinking I had quit traveling because I hadn't written much about traveling lately. That is certainly not the case but my travels have not been too exciting. Bridge trips to gatlinburg and Augusta and day trips to Atlanta (mostly for chipotle) are not blog-worthy.

I guess the Charlottesville trip the first weekend of April could have been blog-worthy but I actually did hardly anything but eat and play bridge.

Perhaps my upcoming 4 day bridge trip to Richmond will have some excitement that's non-bridge-related.

If not, surely my Toronto/Montreal trip in Juky will be blogger about. Now that I'm definitely not in the GNT, I guess I can start actually making travel plans.

Sent from my iPhone

Dreams

While I was in Charlottesville last weekend, I had a couple of strange dreams. In the first one, I had taken up a second job as a bartender at a strip club. Apparently I had a girlfriend working there. And during the slow times, I would get out and dance on the pole some. After awhile, the club decided to have a role-reversal day – the male employees would be the strippers and the girls would be the bouncers, managers, bartenders. But as the time came, a bunch of the guys bailed and I woke up so I can’t complete the story.

In the second dream the following night, someone had recommended a car repair shop that was attached to a restaurant that was overlooking a river.  So I took my Solara there and it was really sketchy. I had to park on a shaky pier and they had to tie down the car to make sure it didn’t go rolling into the river. For some strange reason, I went along with this. Sure enough, while I’m in the restaurant, I see the car start to roll away so I run out of the restaurant to try to save the car but it drowns. However, I go buy a Prius on the spot and drive home happy.

Maybe I should buy a Prius and work at a strip club?

Business Cards

How do you feel about business cards? Would you rather someone hand you a business card with all of the person's contact info or just add the person's number in your phone on the spot? Is it different for guys and girls? I mean, is it appropriate for a guy to give a girl he is interested in his business card and say "call or text me when you're free so we can hang out" or is it still better to straight up ask for her phone number or to straight up ask her on a date (and then exchange phone numbers)? Or have we progressed even farther that the in thing to do is just add the girl on facebook and send her a facebook message the next day?

I think we all would rather the burden be on someone else to make the first move and it's not fair that in the traditional sense, guys have to make all the first moves and women have veto power. Giving out your business card has a sense of professionalism and class that might not otherwise get conveyed. Plus, it puts the ball in the girl's court. You made the first move and showed your interest, let her make the second and call you.

People hate being rejected, so this system of giving your number and asking them to call you later kind of masks the rejection. If she's interested, she'll call (one would think) and if she's not interested, she won't but you haven't totally be rejected because you never actually asked her out.

In this modern world, more and more communication is done through email and the number of couples that met through online dating is getting a bit ridiculous. But apparently some people still are not as attached to their phones and the internet and facebook as I am. That is hard for me to understand. What do people do at home without internet? However, everyone does have a phone. Nothing beats face to face interaction and asking someone out face to face. Calling on the phone is next best but do girls really still care about how they are asked out any more or would a facebook message saying "dinner tomorrow night at 7?" be adequate for asking you out for the first time?