Trust Issues

It’s hard to trust people. Unless it’s someone who has a proven track record of dozens of encounters with me, I have doubts in my mind about whether someone will flake out on me or forget about a plan we made or just not understand me clearly. I can count on one hand the number of people I never worry about being a bad friend. I try to trust people and accept that when they say they’ll do something that they will do it (or have a damn good excuse for not doing it). In the past, that has left me disappointed too many times and mentally unprepared to adapt to the situation well. But the truth is that most people are unreliable, except to their immediate family and a couple of their closest friends, and trusting people who haven’t proved to you that they are dependable only leads to more disappointment later on. I’ve found that a good attitude to have in situations like this (having a date or other plan with someone relatively new to you) is: “I don’t care much what happens. If the person does come through, great, but if not – well, I didn’t expect them to anyway and I’ll find something else to do.” I tend to think I am extremely reliable, even with people I barely know but I may be delusional.