You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This Unless You Mean it Like That

I don’t know what sparked this change in me but when I was a freshman at Tech and before, I had no female friends. Since then the vast majority of my friends have been female. It’s like I realized that I actually get along better with girls than guys. I don’t like the way so many guys spend so much energy talking about who they would do and checking out the bodies and rating every girl that goes by, who are more concerned with getting laid than having a meaningful relationship.

Anyway, I have heard lots of stuff over the last couple of weeks that has bothered me and made me see the bad in people from stalkers to betrayal to cheating spouses to trust issues to selfishness to lying to people being led on. I am glad that for the most part none of the recent issues directly involve me. I feel overwhelmed right now with all the crap that I have seen and heard from people in my life. I generally see the good in people and try to ignore the bad. Until the bad gets to be so overbearing that some intervention is needed. But lately that has been hard. I am really glad, though, that people want me to be a good friend to them and trust me with their secrets and want my advice even though my experience on the issues are few and far between.

I can be very naïve. To people I like and want to be friends with, I believe everything they say and take their words at face value. Giving an excuse rather than saying no to means that at some other time they answer will be yes. I know a lot of people do this, and I probably do it too, sometimes, but I try to be clear about my interest levels. I guess some people realize the fakeness of an excuse earlier but it takes me awhile to get the message. I am always optimistic about such things. I need new friends – friends with similar values as me, friends who are dependable, who will call me back and be brutally honest with me. I know I am setting myself up for disappointment and may have standard that are too high but it’s a risk worth taking to have healthy meaningful relationships and friendships.