People need friends in all parts of life. We may say that
going to bridge tournaments is mostly about playing cards but really it’s
probably more about spending quality time with people you like. We may say that
we joined a tennis team to play tennis but really what we probably care more about is
the camaraderie. We may say that we work just to make money, but why we choose
and stick with a particular job has more to do with the atmosphere, including
the people we work with and for.
Relationships are hard, whether it’s boss-subordinate,
pro-client, teacher-student, boyfriend-girlfriend, acquaintances, bridge
partners, landlord-renter, friends with benefits, or friends who want benefits.
Where do you draw the line between what’s appropriate and what’s not? Is it
even necessary to draw such lines?
- Is going out drinking with your boss okay or should the
boss-subordinate relationship stay within the office?
- Is going out for social activities with a client/student
okay or should the pro-client/teacher-student relationship be kept to business?
- Is sharing a hotel room with someone of the opposite sex okay or is it taboo unless the two are dating or family? If one or both are married?
- Is renting a room/apartment to a friend okay or is it too dangerous to the friendship?
- If you are either paying or receiving money directly from someone, should you become friends with that person or does that money relationship make being friends not acceptable?
- Should you arrange social activities where your friends from different parts of your life meet or should you keep your groups separate?
- Should you try to set up your friends with people or should your friends’ finding other friends/dates be totally up to them?
I’ve had all such situations and have had few if any negative repercussions. I firmly believe the former (more
liberal view) in each case is the way things should be and the way I have
approached them my whole adult life. You can have a friendship or romance with
anyone - how you met or what your jobs are shouldn’t really matter. Male-female friendships do work and can be healthy.
