Next New Adventure

So, for the past 2 or 3 months I've been really high on moving because I had sort of gotten stuck in a rut on nothingness. Actually, this had been going on for over a year but I kept finding things/people that kept me amused for awhile but they've been coming and going way too quickly, save for my regular bridge partners and somewhat regular visits to friends in Atlanta. By January, the upcoming departure of more of my ATL friends became known and I was looking at options for moving again, this time more serious because in June I hit the 3 year mark here, which means more freedom to leave and probably more job options available. The influx of new young bridge friends across the country, largely thanks to Sean and BBO, made the idea of moving even more attractive.

Things certainly haven't gone as I had hoped (but surely I'm better off now than at the start of January or in October or pretty much anytime before?) and several ideas that I thought were independent of each other seemed to merge and confuse me and irritate me and stress me out and lead to my being slightly crazy. I am still very interested moving in Montreal and slightly interested in Boston and am not seriously considering anywhere else but not sure enough that it's what I really want.

Anyway, my next adventure is being in The Mystery of Edwin Drood, an unusual musical with multiple endings depending on how the audience votes on who Drood's murderer is. I don't really understand it yet, but I really love the music in the play despite having to use sort of a British accent. So, that and online bridge and working on partnerships and teammates for the summer nationals will occupy me and keep my happy for the next 6 weeks, and then I'll re-evaluate the relocation possibilities with (hopefully) a much clearer head.

Seasons of Love

I travel a lot, I have a very wide range of interests and friends, and I’m typically (at least I had always thought I was) very scientifically oriented, but I spend an awful lot of time looking for love and thinking about it and imagining how the romance might progress. All that really does, though, is set myself up for disappointment and maybe give me a false sense of reality. I may be good at math and scientific things but I live and behave largely on feel and emotion.

During the production of Traditions in Nov-Dec, the magnitude of my emotions was as high as ever before (and if you talked to me much in the last half of 2008, you would know that I can have extremely strong feelings, even though I mostly try to hide it). I used to think it was largely because of the role I played, a role in which I previously envisioned myself in real life, but as I think about it now, I don’t associate the two things together. So why was I so emotional about it? Did I fall for “Claire” and screw it up in real life or was I just That moved by the story and the thrill of performing?

Sometimes I think I get involved in so many things just to keep from being lonely and to keep my mind off the quest for love. I know there’s no way to predict when you’ll meet someone you will love, and I know I am very picky about which girls I am interested in.

One thing I can say for sure is that the number one quality, the one and only common quality among the girls I’ve ever dated or seriously considered dating, is that they are all highly motivated and ambitious with their careers or future careers. Included in this group are 2 girls now in law school, a musician, 2 medical students, and 2 girls with or working on graduate degrees in math. It seems a bit strange that those are the girls I am most attracted to because I have never been one to place such high importance on my career. I mean, I want to work my 40 hours a week and I work hard at my job but it’s not the center of my life, it’s not something that defines who I am.

Relearning how to play the Trumpet

The bad thing about being a trumpet player is that it's hard to produce my own background music. I mean, if I played the guitar or piano or keyboard, I could play and sing at the same time. So a big part of me is inclined to learn one of those instruments but I really do like the trumpet.

If anyone knows of a local jazz band or concert band or orchestra or something like that I could try out for, I may be interested in that.

Reflecting upon Traditions

I’ve had more than my share of big adventures in the last year or two but being in a play tops them all, except maybe seeing my huge family in the Philippines for the first time in 15 years.

Trying to be in a musical isn’t something I would ever have done on my own, and I probably wouldn’t have done this if I had to audition. But I am incredibly happy that I did act in the play and apparently do pretty well, and I just want my whole facebook network to know that, even the many friends I have who have no interest in even being a theater-goer. This first theater experience far exceeded my expectations and certainly won't be the my last.

It took awhile to warm up to most of the people but I eventually grew to love the cast and crew almost like my own family. With me rarely getting to see my extended family, the family feeling we had was truly great, and I will miss it: the late night coffee/dinner with David and Louise and sometimes others, playing with Sadie and Ella among others backstage, the mall scene (my favorite part of the play), working on the set. There is one little sore spot, but what would life be without a little conflict and I’m sure that will subside over time. Thanks to Emory for thinking I would do well and like being in the show, and to Sylvia for accepting a complete novice to fill the important role of Nevarre. Thanks to my mom and Hillery for doubting my abilities, thereby initially giving me even more desire to succeed, although in the end i got virtually no satisfaction from proving them wrong. The joy was in getting to meet all the wonderful people, hearing the audience’s applause and congratulations, and learning about myself.

So, I want to have a big family get together which apparently isn't happening this Christmas, but I have a couple of moderately big non-Traditional trips coming up that should be fun. What will my next adventure be? 2010 is looking wide-open right now. I’m open to suggestions.

Open Up Your Plans and Damn You're Free

I’m still afraid to take a break from doing lots of stuff. I’m afraid that if I spend a weekend at home with nothing in particular to do that I’ll get lonely and sad. But I was planning to do that the rest of the year, with my only real activities left this year being a trip San Diego over Thanksgiving and skiing right before Christmas. My solution for the past year has been to go places and see lots of different friends while not getting attached to any of them. It has been fun, but rather unfulfilling. I like having just a few really close friends and I like taking going to see places with them rather than a multitude of not-so-close friends that I go visit all over the country.

They say that life’s best gifts come when you’re not expecting anything or even looking for anything. As I think about how I met and got to be good friends with people in the past, it was really just by luck and good fortune. When this opportunity to be in a play a week or 2 ago presented itself to me, it was a total surprise. And I’m even surprised that I agreed to it – out of the 4 people I asked for advice on whether I should, only 2 actually thought I could handle it. I’ll wait until the performances to pass final judgment on this, but after 5 rehearsals, I am enjoying it a lot. The pretending to be a couple is a little weird (we’ve known each other 1 week and seem like we’re afraid to get close to each other). Maybe a good friend or two will come from this but I shouldn’t expect anything.

Filipinos are typically very strong in the performing arts like singing and dancing. I was in some Filipino dances 15-20 years ago but that’s all. My mom didn’t raise me to be a good Filipino – she didn’t teach me the language either. As a freshman in college, I joined the Filipino Student Association but somehow never got involved with of their little productions. I regret that a little bit.

I’ve been having the urge to write a lot lately. Since the summer, actually, when I started my bridge blog. The one thing I regret more than anything from my time at Tech is not getting involved with the Technique. I may not be one for reading books or making up stories but I could have made great contributions as a news writer or sports writer or editor for the school paper. I can write very well and I like to write as long as it doesn’t require too much imagination. Maybe in my next career (which isn’t starting any time soon) I’ll get to do some writing and use my French.

New Adventure

Friday evening I got an email from my favorite bridge partner that really surprised me. Of course, I was also surprised when he told me two years ago that he’s going to be in a play. I mean, I have the same kind of personality as him – kind of quiet and reserved. But he has loved being in plays for years, apparently.

The email was about a part in Traditions, a play at the Macon Little Theatre in less than a month. They need a person to play the role of Nevarre, supposedly a foreigner, and there were apparently no brown people that auditioned. I was flattered but I can’t sing or dance. At least that’s what I had been telling myself for years. The memorization and speaking in front of an audience shouldn’t be a problem, and the role seems to be very much like me in real life so there wouldn’t be much need to be someone different. So I said I would be interested as long as I don’t have any musical solos.

Meanwhile, I asked my parents and my best friend what they thought of this. My dad said I should jump on the opportunity and that I would do well. My mom and best friend were both doubtful that I could handle it. They didn’t say it in so many words but comments like “it’s worth a try” and “you’ll have to speak louder” and “your soft voice may hinder you” made it clear that they didn’t have much confidence in me. But what do they know? They’re only the 3 people in the world that know me the best.

Tonight, they decided that they would like my services and I am excited about this. It’s something new for me but something I am confident I can do well. Previously, I would have taken my parents’ and best friends words and said there’s no way I can do this if my best friends don’t even think I can. But this time, it’s just motivation for me to do well and prove that they’re wrong. Besides, I like new adventures and need the opportunity to meet more fascinating people. So, I start rehearsal tomorrow. More updates to come.